The Hummer Dumber Song

The Hummer Dumber Song
(All Over Utopia)

(This is satire; not an instruction manual.)

blow up a Hummer, as it rolls off the line
blow up a Hummer, and pay a small fine
blow up a Hummer, and all of its kind
blow up a Hummer on your street or mine

blowing up Hummers all over utopia
all over the streets of godly Myopia
our nearsighted utopia

Hummer Hummer, what a gas
Hummer owner, what an ass
hauling groceries from the store
Hummer hauling giant whore

Hummer runs into a wall
Hummer flaming fireball
toast of the town, money to burn
Hummer owner Postmodern

Hummer Hummer burning bright
go to blazes this good night
reeking ugly moral blight
get thee Hummer from my sight

Hummer hurdles over wall
Hummer smashes in the fall
on its way to shopping mall
Hummer still a bit too small

Hummer selfishness on crack
turn a car onto its back
driving on a soldier’s grave
oil’s its god with a zombie slave

Hummer Hummer, set me free
free me now from my TV
drive with it into the sea
blowing up eternally

Hummer easy to carjack
just hide up top on the luggage rack
then park Hummer on railroad track
I heard about this from a colonel in Iraq

Hummers drive the blue or the red one
drive it to work and to Armageddon
drive it whether you’re Mars or Venus
drive it like it’s your big steel penis

O sweet Myopia
what friend would I be
to let a friend drive so stupid
now hand me that key
stand down from your sin
leave the door just ajar
you're forgiven my friend
now stand in front of my new car
we love you, Myopia
our nearsighted utopia


Larry Piltz
Indian Cove / Austin, Texas

The Rag Blog / Posted June 8, 2008